“Self Care of a Trans Man” by Nad, age 27

 
Text interspersed with drawings. “As a social being we’re used to reaching out and socializing with others. However, our traumas turn that socializing into a more difficult task than those that had a more stable past. It turned out to be more challenging for me to handle losing person after person and being under-appreciated for my hard work.” Drawing of smiling person being approached by a small crowd, then the person now alone. “I looked for support and appreciation in others. I thought it was what we all have to do as a social being” Drawing of person being approached by a couple people, then alone. “More and more pain filled me up. More and more at a loss I became. Tears were instead of washing my face in the morning and pain replaced breathing air”.
Person kneeling and crying. “Being a trans person that lacks support, not being able to properly transition, traumas can make misgendering really painful. Every time I get misgendered something tells me that people don’t care about my feelings, don’t care about my safety and don’t include me in the society. The story of pain repeats itself a thousandth time and in a variety of ways. How to reach out if no one is there for you? How to find a person that will tell you you’re on the right path, working so hard, giving your all and trying to live your life?” A hand reaching downwards. “I heard a voice. It was quiet and it was screaming in the distance. ‘Open your teary eyes because you are more than you are showing. The hero that has been buried deserves to be released”. A person offers their hand to the kneeling, crying person.
“I opened my eyes and saw something that we all need at any given moment. Oh my, there was before me someone who cared and who wanted me to live my life. I looked into my eyes.” A person standing, offering their hand. “Ah yes…it’s been you all the way. The treasure you’ve been looking for has been next to you this whole time. I smiled at myself despite of pain, despite of loneliness and lacking strength. I smiled and became everyone to myself that I greatly needed. I loved myself as my child and biggest friend, as my guardian and my dearest sibling. And nothing could stop us because we are a team, a team that believes in each other and knows that giving all that you’ve got is receiving all that can be received.”

A note from the author, Nad:

“My work is a writing piece - a story of a certain period in my life and my illustrations supporting it. It represents a bitter loneliness trans people have to face after getting too much pain from trying to socialize.”